![]() ![]() The lore and backstory behind the setting, Hideo Kojima will happily deliver if you let him and don't have a ball gag close to hand, but let's focus on what's actually relevant to the gameplay, to wit: you deliver things to places, angry ghosts try to stop you, and you fling your piss at them Death Stranding can stand alongside Postal 2 and Okami in the criminally underpopulated sub-genre "Games with a Dedicated 'Urinate' Button". ![]() Don't you all feel silly you spent all that time stressing over nuclear holocaust? Oh yeah, and every now and again, a magic rain that causes things to prematurely age falls from the sky. The population is holed up in isolated bunkers, and couriers are now the only line of communication between them, one of whom is our hero, Sam Porter Bridges, who carries around a magic baby that allows him to see the angry ghosts and has some condition that means angry ghosts hate the taste of his piss. Damn, I wish he had made that Silent Hill game it would've given me the most ambivalent erection of my life.Īnyway, the premise of Death Stranding is that an apocalyptic event has blurred the world of the living and the dead America is swarming with angry ghosts, and the destruction of the country's infrastructure has made it impossible to stockpile the power pills necessary for Pac-Man to eat them all. I think I've nailed the running theme between Kojima's female characters: they all have perfect, beautiful faces, but something has made the rest of their bodies horribly fucked up in some way, like Kojima's ideal woman is a mannequin head on top of a woman-shaped pile of expired dog food. I had no idea what to expect from Death Stranding, but at the same time, there was a lot that I could predict: I knew it was going to be very polished with an eye for detail, overwritten with a lot of grandiose-if-emotionally-awkward storytelling, and it would swiftly get very creepy every time a woman came onscreen. It's funny how Death Stranding can be simultaneously very weird and very boring Kojima is a man of contrasts. Perhaps that alone is what makes him worth celebrating, even if his new game is more weird and boring than getting cornered by a caffeinated anime fan who wants to talk about his crossover fanfic between Attack on Titan and Last of the Summer Wine. I wondered if the game darkens Norman Reedus' piss if he doesn't hydrate often enough I then further wondered if there was any game developer on this planet who could leave me genuinely uncertain as to whether or not their game has a urine coloration algorithm besides Hideo Kojima. I was watching a digital Norman Reedus piss into a toilet, and when the toilet presented me a new piss grenade to throw at ghosts during my next hiking trip, I thought the piss looked a bit dark and orange, which in reality would be a sign of dehydration. ![]() This week in Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Death Stranding.
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